Sunday, December 28, 2008


I love my pastor.

I love going to church and coming away both encouraged and convicted. Both.

I have so many thoughts lately--thinking about my baby, my husband, my home, my job, my parents, my brother.... I alternate between thoughts: I worry, I recognize how blessed I am, I plan, I fret/worry some more, I cry because I'm both hormonal and happy...but all the while, there is always this thing inside me that craves...more. I think I'm craving peace.

But it's the kind of peace that my dad first taught on and then Beyers taught again today: the word "peace" means, in the Greek, to "set at one again" (this is my own translation-- I'm just sketching here). Beyers put it like this: drop a glass and it shatters into a million pieces. The process of putting it back together again is what it means to be set at peace: to be re-made whole. Dad, as a counselor, added his own twist to it: to have one's mind set at peace is to have it restored to sanity. I love both of these definitions.

I worry constantly-- some days I'm cool, but some Stupid worrying. The kind of worrying that...well, yesterday Don and I went to the car wash (a really good one in Snellville-- I'm going to tell all of my students that they need to get jobs working at one of those this summer. Hard work, but honest and pretty good high school pay) and we were watching my car come through the wash itself (you could watch from picture windows-- my son will love watching this one day!). I knew that there is this one piece on top of my car that keeps wanting to come off-- it's a strip of something... I cannot describe it, but it's purely cosmetic and you wouldn't be able to tell if it came off completely. Anyway, I was watching and I said to Don, "Honey, what if that thing comes up?" and he looked at me and smiled and said, "You worry all the time, don't you?" It wasn't offensive and he didn't mean it to hurt me-- it was an observation. I had worried all day about little things. Worried that I wasn't entertaining him enough as we ran errands together-- our first day together, just the two of us, in ages. Worried worried worried.

It's not the first time we've talked about it. And I don't know where I picked it up-- I guess I've always been a worrier, and I'm praying for my children that this worry thing will not be passed along to them.

But Paul said that if we set our minds on Christ, that if we spend time before Him in prayer, that He will set our minds at peace. I can just imagine putting these things I worry about straight into His capable hands and Him putting those hands on my head: peace, be still. Where my mind has been fractured with worry-- doubleminded-- He will make it whole with trust.

Let it be, Lord. And thank You for the word.


J Andersen said...

It was a great sermon this morning. I especially liked the part about the middle east and how we keep expecting peace to occur, while often forgetting that true peace in the world will only occur when Christ reigns in the hearts of all.

Samantha said...

right on.

Once Upon a Time said...

Sam, you know I am with you in worry. There have been things I have been worried about lately (remember what I talked to you about at Casey's house that night) in fact, obsessed would be more like it. (I am going to have it checked after the New Year so pray) anyway, I was reading recently and I came across what I am about to share. I loved it, and it did give me some peace, some hope, indeed it gave me a sense of, remember Braveheart when he is rallying the troops? This sense of it is... "A great conqueror was leading his victorious army back to Italy- and home. Onward they marched over rivers and plains, and through wooded forest until they reached the foothills of the towering Alps. Here the thinning ranks of the worn and tired soldiers began to falter as they trudged on over the rocky defiles of the mighty mountain passes. As they climbed higher and still higher, the blinding snow and storms well nigh discouraged the stoutest hearts. Stopping on the eminence where he could overlook all his men and be heard by them,pointing upwards across the barrier the great general shouted, "men, beyond those Alps lies home." Mothers and fathers, wives and children, sweethearts! Home!- Another scene. All over the world are members of Emmanuel's army. Many have won decisive battles over sin and the enemy, great victories. They have struggled along life's rugged highway and many have become weary and worn in the conflict. Long they have marched...homeward. But now they have reached the great mountain of difficulty...the mighty Alps on the stream of time. To this vast army their Captain shouts, " Soldiers, beyond these mountains of difficulty lies home!" Heaven. long-lost friends, wives,mothers, fathers, children brothers and sisters. Thank God, we are almost home." You know, for all our worrying...the worst that could happen is that we go home! I love you girl. Happy New Year!!