Saturday, September 27, 2008

Super Chicken - 01-The Oyster

Um...doing research on what we're going to allow our children to watch on television. So far, we've agreed on vintage Sesame Street, Schoolhouse Rock and Superchicken. Our child is going to be a total child of the 70's. All we need to do is add Fat Albert and we're talking total time warp.

c is for cookie

The best part of this skit is when the choir of monsters come up in the background...also, when Cookie Monster goes "OOOOOH, C is for cookie... OOOOOHHHH C is for cookie...."

I struggle with this...

just went to a website that is a sort of "facebook" for the missionary organization i worked with for most of my twenties, and i found myself struggling with a posted item... it was a missionary family looking for a nanny.

i'm sure it's just semantics. i'm sure that the thing that bothers me about it is what the word "nanny" entails to me-- it's sort of a modern equivalent of a "governess" in my mind-- it has an elitist, priviledged ring to it.

i struggled with it when i was in the mission, too. these volunteer workers are supported by local churches and individual church-goers. i have more than one friend who was "invited" to serve as some family's nanny but who was required to raise her own funds, pay her own way to travel to and/or with the family, and was not recompensed for her work in any way (okay, she was serving in the mission field-- she was recompensed, but you know what i mean).

my question is complicated. my struggle is complicated. in the mission, there are countless ways to serve. in the body of Christ, there are countless ways to serve. my friends who served as nannies saw their calling for that season to be serving the parents of young children whose families were deeply involved in [what was often] serious overseas mission work. both parents were working in whatever area it was at that time and they honestly needed someone who could watch after the babies while they were working. just like any family.

and i'm stymied right there. because that's totally valid. plus, who am i to judge another man's servant (the Lords)?

but it wasn't always the case that the family had two working parents. sometimes they just had a thousand kids.

i suppose the place where i struggle is that they are getting free child care, while the nanny is working her butt off in incredibly hard conditions (oftentimes), and she is paying to be there. she pays her own staff fees, she pays her own food/travel fees, etc., and she is not serving the community but an [often] American family. it's killing me, but it sounds so...colonial.

oh my gosh. is my opinion really that the mother should step back from ministry to raise the children she chose to have?

gosh, i don't know. i don't think it's possible that that is purely it. because the thing i really struggle with is the fact that they "hire" these nannies and do not pay them at all. it feels like the position is a luxury to the family and they are getting it completely free.

or maybe i just remember that once, i babysat for a family when i was in the mission and i was completely taken by surprise by the fact that i wasn't paid. i didn't know that it was sort of the culture in our organization that, if you babysit, you did it out of the goodness of your heart. the couple were headed out for a date night-- dressed wonderfully, going to a nice restaurant. when they returned, they paid me with a loaf of what was admittedly some of the best bananna bread I ever had in my life.

i hadn't expected that at all. i took the "job" babysitting that night because i was trying to earn money for outreach. where i came from, if you babysat...well... you got paid. i mean, my folks always paid my babysitters. and let me tell you, nathan and i made sure they earned every penny of it. :)

anyway. you can tell that i'm conflicted about it. because i can honestly see both sides. the nannies are serving the Lord by helping the mothers who are in ministry. but i'm wondering how they feel alright about not paying them at least something? "the worker is worth his wages" and all that. but aren't our children our primary ministry? or are we trusting that the Lord will cover that bill? both bills?

or maybe i just want them to use a different term. a different title. i have no idea what that title might be. not even any smart alek ideas. but i know that i have enough "more ideas" that i had better stop now. because i have friends who have done both and my aim is not to point fingers...i'm just wondering is all...

**I should add that this is what my husband said in response: "In the mission field, I'm sure that there are families who have prayed about it and nannies who have prayed about it and if they feel it's their calling then who am I to question how they serve the Lord?"

This is one of the four thousand reasons i am married to this man. He's so right. I repent. I'll leave the post just to leave his comment.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Captain Vegetable

I wanted to post this really irritating Sesame Street skit about Captain Vegetable, because I really need to watch it and be brainwashed back into eating them.

As of sometime last week, the mere thought of eating a carrot makes me want to hurl. A piece of celery? I'd rather eat snake meat. Lettuce? I can't even stand the way it SMELLS!

What is wrong with me?? A little tiny alien the size of a blueberry has taken over my body!!! I am drinking Perrier (and regular water) and eating crackers all day-- gone is the hummus, in absentia are the legumes, banished are the cucumbers... and there is very little else to eat. Those things I have listed are what I previously lived on. Tonight? Lean Cuisine broccoli (broccoli!) alfredo. It was fantastic. And ginger ale. I made Don move away from me so I couldn't smell his salad.

I could smell his salad.

OH, the drama!!

:)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Maybe it's just me... [update]

So, I took that post down because I received a couple of emails from friends who were concerned that this bit was about them, and it wasn't!!! The reality is, the friend I wrote about doesn't even know that I keep a blog and that's why I felt fairly certain that it wasn't a big deal to write about it-- but because I was keeping a secret (baby) last week, which was increasingly known to more and more people, several people fit parts of the description of that story!

And the thing is, it's not even remotely an issue-- we talked about it and it's completely taken care of! I'm chalking it up to raging, unreasonable hormones :)

It's all good!!
:)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Baby ....

Oh my gosh, I saw the most amazing thing today.

Today, I saw the beating heart of my unborn child.

Selah.

I cannot properly describe how that felt. Maybe I haven't even organized it into words in my own mind. I held Don's hand as we looked up at that screen and my fears were completely forgotten-- there was this gorgeous dark spot, with this tiny (I'm only 6 weeks) wooshing sound and this faint pulsing white spot (his/her heart only started beating this week) and it was like nothing I have ever seen.

It was a miracle.

How can you look at that and not believe? How can anyone remain in the darkness of unbelief when they are faced with the mystery of new life-- new life which has taken up residence in what you thought was a barren womb? And how can we ever fathom the mystery of what it means to be knit together in the smallest place by the biggest hands that ever were?...

There is so much to think about. So much to ponder. But here is this-- my heart does magnify the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant (Luke 1:46)

Wow.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Overheard

From one freshman boy to another freshman boy on a Monday morning, just before class started in 1st period:

"Hey man, did you know that if you burp and fart at the same time, your lungs will explode?"

"Nuh-uh"

"Yeah, dude, my brother told me."

Sunday, September 14, 2008

So here it is...

I'm pregnant.

Crazy, right? How wild it is to even type those words in such an incredibly public forum. 7 weeks pregnant. What a miracle.

And the crazy thing is, we weren't even trying-- and I didn't think it could even happen. I was fully prepared to see a specialist this fall in order to start trying in January. But the Lord? He knew. He always knows.

But I had no idea how scary it would be. At once, I'm completely excited and totally petrified. I've been surrounded by all of these pregnant women all of these weeks with no clue about what was going on inside my own body, but mesmerized at what they must be going through. But I didn't consider the constant awareness that your body is not your own. That every weird ache or pain would send my mind down fourteen possible paths, none of which are positive. That I thought hypochondria was bad when I was alone in my skin...but now, there's two of us and I need to get. a. grip.

But I never was alone. The constant, never-fading presence of my God was and is felt.

I woke up with spotting this morning. Just a bit, and it stopped after the first...well, I won't go into details, but it didn't last at all and was always pink and that was incredibly early this morning. I've downed about a million ounces of water today and haven't seen anything to lose my mind over (except for a tiny amount of darkish brown this afternoon and that was it). I called several of my pregnant or have been pregnant friends and got a ton of sympathy and advise and also called my doctor, who told me to lie down all day-- so I did and was bored like crazy. Called my mother about 20 times. And felt all kinds of ghost pains.

You know I'm not allowed to look at WebMD. I'm not allowed to even peek at online medical symptoms sites. Because if I read it, I've got it. So of course my left shoulder has hurt (ectopic pregnancy), but so has my entire body-- I'm aching like I'm about to get the flu-- but it's normal.

So I turned over a new leaf midday. I decided that I will only read the positive comments on this website my sisters-in-law both told me about (it's a great site: babycenter.com). Look, if something bad is going to happen, something bad is going to happen-- there is nothing I can do about it. I am taking great care of myself and am doing everything I can. The rest is up to the Lord and I trust Him. But I can't go feeding my imagination.

For 9 months. OH, the drama.

I need to be delivered of this fear!!

So, in the spirit of the Year of Not Taking Things for Granted, I am not taking these days and this feeling of something amazing happening inside me for granted. No matter what happens tomorrow, next week or next year, this is now and it's unlike anything I have ever experienced. And I am not alone in it-- even in the dead of night when my child's father (oh, the awe of those words) is sleeping peacefully and my usually-exhausted self can't go to sleep, I am not alone. My earthly father has always referred to the verse that talks about the fact that the entire universe is held together in the expanse of God's hands, and I've been thinking about that today, wondering what is going on with this little one buried deep inside me. God's huge hands hold the expanse of the universe but somehow, miraculously, can go so small and tiny that they hold the life of this baby in perfect balance, too. Amazing.

Not taking that for granted, no sir.

Thank you Lord!