Thank you so much for life. For the fact that this life is completely full of ups and downs. For the fact that I happen to agree with every positive cliche I can think of right now. For the fact that life is both long and short. For the fact that we are learning how to live in You right now-- that, in a way, this life IS a dress rehearsal for eternity. Thank you that we can wake up, nurture our nests and our relationships and watch for Your glory and that sometimes we can weep and grieve and cry out at and to You. Thank you that this life is also short and that we're working our way toward You and we are living to really one day see Your face to face... to hold the children we've lost and the loved ones who've gone on before us. Thank you that, just like Christmas seems to take forever to get here and the morning itself seems like it came all too fast, one day we will hold You and be held by You and it will seem like it was nothing.
Today is beautiful. And tough. The beginning of the holidays without Ben... I know that I packed away an ornament that was for him, for his first Christmas, and I can't remember where it is, so I have no idea when I will discover it. I remember shopping last year and gazing longingly at the precious little ones bundled up and my heart was full with excitement for having one of my own this next Christmas. I remember thinking how our houses would be full of babies to hold. They still are-- they're just not mine this time.
But today is beautiful. TODAY is beautiful. And it's all going to be okay.
Thank you Jesus for grace that spills out of who-knows-where and for the mercy that sustains us, too.
Welcome holidays-- I'm ready for you. I'm going to feel everything and it's going to be alright.
ps i have no idea why my blog is hyperlinking to university of phoenix, but i'll see what i can do to fix it. it's not me!!