Monday, March 20, 2006

All who are thirsty

** from a post on my old sunday school site, March 2006

I couldn't figure out why my cell phone was dead. I plugged it into its cord as soon as I walked in from school-- I have this little ritual: I walk in, put my bag on the kitchen table, take off my shoes, put my phone on the shelf, plugged in, and take my class ring (the precious) off and leave it beside the phone. I used to be afraid of forgetting to put it on-- now, my hand just doesn't feel right without its four pound onyx beautifulness. OH, I love my school.

Anyway. So my phone... That's when I discovered that the cord was not plugged into the electrical outlet. Don, while ironing before school one morning, had unplugged my phone to use the outlet for the iron, and his jacket was hanging over that spot. He hadn't replaced the cell phone cord (and he didn't put up the ironing board, but that's a different story :)), and it didn't matter how many hours my phone stayed connected to that cord, there was no power running through it. See where I'm going?

Sometimes I think of my life as a believer this way. I see the phone sitting beside the [now plugged in] cord and think, it doesn't matter how close it sits, unless it is plugged in, there is no juice re-energizing that thing. i could actually lay the cell phone ON TOP of the phone jack, but unless it is plugged into the power source, unless it is plugged into the jack, there is no life there.

Sometimes we as believers are sitting NEAR the word, carrying it around with us, carrying the knowledge of what it says with us, and sometimes even reading it, but we aren't plugged in to it. We aren't connected with the Lord in the place of prayer, getting encouraged and energized by the closeness of His spirit. We have access to it, it's available to us all day long, but it's our responsibility to plug into Him.

The analogy, as they always do, tends to fall apart around there. Our "power source" is more than just a source-- He's a Person with a capital P (one of my leaders in YWAM used to say that-- I love it). And He pursues us because he loves us-- He's always calling out to us. Are you weary? Do you feel burdened down with choices, decisions, things that are due right now, and last week if possible? Are there hopes and desires in your heart, longings only He knows the names of? Have you been wounded? Are you struggling with your flesh? Do you feel like you've been running on a battery-- depending on where you were with the Lord this time last year, or just any other season than this one, and you are just trying to recapture that strength and enthusiasm and clarity you used to feel?

Plug back in. We can't give up. There's a worship song that goes like this:

All who are thirsty
All who are weak
Come to the fountain
Dip your heart in the stream of life
Let the pain and the sorrow
Be washed away
In the waves of His mercy
As deep cries unto deep

And we cry Come Lord Jesus, come...
Come Lord Jesus, come
Come Lord Jesus, come

As deep calls unto deep...

And Isaiah 55:1-11 (see for full text): "Come here, all you who are thirsty, come to the water! All who have no money, come! Yes, without money and at no cost, buy and drink wine and milk"

Lets plug in, drink deeply of His presence, and live in His goodness. We're all tired-- press in, ask Him for help, and He will help us gain the finish line (also known, for this season, as May 13th, GRADUATION!!).

I love you guys (and I'll teach you this song next time we're all together!)

PS-- coming SOON-- my house, ice cream and diet coke and whatever else your heart desires, and perhaps we will watch a movie? perhaps we will sing some? perhaps we shall play games? Let me know what you want to do!!

Wednesday, March 8, 2006

Exit Exam

I would like to formally thank Derek Kirbow for helping us, here, to be among the first to see the newest addition to academia: a universal exit exam. Brilliant. Along with rising tuition and outrageously impossible emissions testing standards, here is further proof that they are, indeed, out to get you. :)

CAVEAT: one girl at my school, I am ashamed to say, thought this was serious. Be advised, it is not.


Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time Limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately.

1) H I S T O R Y

Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

2) M E D I C I N E

You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

3) P U B L I C S P E A K I N G

Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

4) B I O L O G Y

Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

5) M U S I C

Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

6) P S Y C H O L O G Y

Based on your degree of knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Rameses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammurabi. Support your evaluations with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

7) S O C I O L O G Y

Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

8) M A N A G E M E N T S C I E N C E

Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm; design the communications interface and all necessary control programs.

9) E N G I N E E R I N G

The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

10) E C O N O M I C S

Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

11) P O L I T I C A L S C I E N C E

There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

12) E P I S T E M O L O G Y

Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.

13) P H Y S I C S

Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

14) P H I L O S O P H Y

Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

15) G E N E R A L K N O W L E D G E

Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

* * E X T R A C R E D I T * *

Define the universe; give three examples.