Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Thanksgiving

I walked into my house today, exhausted. This time of the school year is so complicated-- it's emotionally taxing, physically draining, spiritually...sigh. Have generations of teachers said the same things we find ourselves saying to each other today?

"This generation just doesn't care."

"This generation has no idea how hard it's going to be on them."

"They don't believe us when we tell them [insert thing they don't believe]."

"We were never like this growing up."

"We were different."

"Our parents were different."

Their parents are starting to freak out because their kids are failing, and many of them blame us because we haven't called them/scheduled a conference/emailed them. But really? I have 110 students. Most of them are struggling in some way. And grading takes hours. So does planning. At the risk of sounding like a government worker, I'm off the clock at 3:45. But am I really? Is any teacher ever off the clock?

So we have dreams-- stressed out, freaked out dreams, many nights, but especially at the end of the semester, about finding out that WE failed 9th grade English and are back in Mrs. Huey's class at Rockdale, and we realize that we totally forgot to read A Tale of Two Cities again. Oh, and we also discover that we're bald. And enrolled in Chinese classes. And we're failing that, too.

But then we come home...

My kids freak out because my house is over 130 years old, but I tell them, "Ain't no ghost in my house but the Holy Ghost." And it's true. The Spirit of the living God is in this place.

After this exhausting day, I walked into my home and asked Him to show me something beautiful.


In my spirit, I heard Him say, "I'm looking at her."


Selah.

Tell me He isn't real. That He isn't kind. I'll show you a Father whose truth and kindness know no limits.


Oh, my sweet Father. How I need you.


I pray that out of his glorious riches
he may strengthen you
with power through his Spirit
in your inner being,
so that
Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.
And I pray that you,
being rooted and established in love,
may have power,
together with all the saints,
to grasp
how wide
          and how long
                  and how high
                          and how deep
is the love of Christ,
and to know this love that surpasses knowledge
that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:16-20