So, I'm grading papers.
Fine, fine fodder for the "Things Freshmen Say" portion of our show.
1. Today (just now)-- bits and pieces from a short personal narrative:
"I remember the day I got my dog.... My dad said he was going ot surprise me with my third pet. My first two pets were goldfish, but I overfed them. They died, so my dad said he'd get me another pet...When my friends came over for the first time, [he] attacked them because he did not know them...only two of my friends reacted the right way. Now they are the only two friends that [he] knows and likes. So whenever my friends come over, I have to take him upstairs. Except that only two of my friends still come over."
Earlier, a friend sent me this quote from the same student. This was his response to a question about study habits:
“I best study at home with the TV off, eating some cereal.”
I wish so much you could see this kid.
We love him.
2. Title from another paper:
" How I got a tooth stuck in my head"