The assignment: Write a review of the competition One Act that we were able to go watch in dress rehearsal. I am reporting this essay exactly the way it was written.
The Worst Play I Ever Saw, by Antonio*
"The play that I saw last thursday was so so boring. it was boring cause they are the worst actors i ever seen on my life. i told my friend that if i had to choose the play or kill myself, i woula pick killing my self. During the play I falled asleep. By the way that nap that I toook in the theather was kinda confortable. When I was asleep I dream about that the play was over and that every one that was on the theather went running to their class. When we went running the drama teacher came running with us. That how bad it was. Then the next day the drama teacher quit her job. Then it turn out that their was no more plays!!! Hooray!!! We don't have to go to more play at school. When I woked up the play was over and I was happy."
[sic sic sic sic sic sic sic]
I'm very happy to report that I am incredibly resilient, that our drama department is fantastic, and that this little guy is as cute as he is ... not particularly gifted in the area of writing. Except that he's stinking hilarious and when he wants to, he writes just fine. Hm.
For the record, the play was FANTASTIC, and I suspect he thought it was, too. He was just trying to be all bad for his homies.
*not his real name