Tonight, the bed is COZY. We have all of the elements for bed-perfection: humongous, heavy down comforter; big comfy pillows; body pillow for pregnant girl; and the world's most amazing sheets-- this perfectly soft, totally natural feeling fleece that my sister in law gave us last Christmas...too hot in the summer and dangerous in the winter because I swear I almost always oversleep because of them. Our bed is small-- a double-- and we need a new mattress, but it's truly so comfortable.
So why am I up after midnight on a school night?
Because the wind is blowing at gusts that reach about 45 mph (really, not exaggerating) and my little house feels like it's about to fall in on itself! And my brain, of course, is tallying up all of the bad things that could happen with all of this wind. A list:
* Garbage can out front could be blown over, scattering trash all over the yard. Don insisted, when I woke him to share this worry, that he would clean it up in the morning if that happened.
* But if he has to clean up garbage scattered throughout yard, a) he might catch a cold and hasn't gotten one yet this year, b) he could be late to school and since we're sharing a car, WE will be late to school, c) what mail is out there that might be scattered? Receipts?
* If can blows over, it might go into the road and someone might hit it and have an accident.
* Could we be liable?
* Could they get really hurt? (I got out of bed, put on shoes and went out to the road. Don is correct-- that thing is heavy and the trash at the top is REALLY heavy-- it's not going anywhere)(frostbite report forthcoming)
* What about his kayak in the back? Is it secure? What if the wind picks it up and it blows through my windshield?
* I need to move my car, speaking of windshields. That pecan tree is HUGE and what if the branches decide that they want to break tonight? Can my car take it if that huge branch falls on it? No (I got out of bed and moved the car).
I start to drift off, back in my warm, cozy bed when it occurs to me that Mom and Dad have some huge pine trees that have been looking pretty threatening for years.
* What if a pine tree comes through their roof?
* It could land in their bedroom. Can they get to a phone to call me?
* What if they are lying there RIGHT NOW, hurt with a pine tree lying across them and I'm here all cozy in my bed and I don't know and can't get to them?
* What if they're NOT hurt but the roof is damaged? How expensive might that be? I want them to move in with us. There's no room here for us, even, but I want to take care of them. Hm. When will we get a house of our own? Larger, room for mom and dad...
* RENT-- I keep forgetting to send the rent check in.
And the list goes on and on. So now I think I'm pretty thawed out so I'm headed back to bed. The baby is jumping around-- I pray for him that the Lord guards him from my anxious feelings and I refuse to compose a list of worries for him: the Lord has him well in hand. I pray that the anxiety that I feel will simply translate to excitement when he gets all of these hormones and that he's jumping around because he's happy and little and warm.
Hm. Maybe I should begin to think of my family-- all of us-- as being held like that by Him. What a novel idea... I'm so grateful for grace and for a God who knows and loves me exactly the way I am, but who is completely committed to seeing His work in me through to completion....