You know, all the message boards say that "every woman's pregnancy is different please do not compare your pregnancy to another woman's babies are only human each one is different" blah blah blah.
Well, I say "blah blah blah" but really, those words are comforting.
But I will tell you, pregnancy, physically, has been pretty great. My hair is growing like crazy and other than heartburn, I really don't have any problems. Well, and trying to figure out comfortable sleeping positions. But still, I just imagined that pregnancy would be a wild ride-- and it has been a ride-- but for me, the biggest thing I have struggled with is my mind.
Take two nights ago, for instance. I'm lying on the couch after a LONG day at school, watching something on TV (to be honest, I have no clue what I was watching-- I'm sure I was on the verge of going to sleep!), my hand resting lightly on my tummy. I had finally been feeling the baby in the last week and a half with semi-regularity (thanks to my friend Melissa for comforting me on this point!) and was expecting to feel him moving around inside at any moment when all of a sudden, something sort of lightly punched my palm.
My first thought: I'm dying. It's an artery about to burst.
You think I'm kidding?
I did a quick body check: heart rate normal (except for the terrified spike), no aches, no funny large red blotchy place where my blood vessel must have exploded-- I'm cool.
I left my hand there and then it happened again and I knew: the baby. Oh my gosh. Incredible. I called for Don to come feel it and he did it again when Don had his hand there. Incredible. It was the first time I'd ever felt him move from the OUTside. Before, all the kicks were felt from inside.
So here's this: some days this little guy is training for the Olympics and others he thinks he is a freshman in college during midterms: completely vegged out on the couch, soaking in denial and chips.
I want him to build a little schedule to comfort his mother. Here's what I need from him: a few bumps/nudges/kicks in the morning, one or two at lunch, and a bunch at night. Just move around, let me know you're in there and doing fine. That's all I ask. If you could grade some papers, even better, but I'll take what I can get.
Until then, I'll just trust the Lord that He has it well in hand. And I'll be grateful for this season where my lungs and ribs are not being assaulted.
But I'm secretly looking forward to that, too.