Not about the quiet time part-- that's for real. But about the burn-out part-- I think I was just tired (and hormonal). Anyway, I've been reading a gorgeous book-- Anne Lamott's Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith. Lamott is anything but traditional, slightly scandalous, seriously funny and really seems to have a handle on the love of the Lord. Which messes with me big time because she refers to God as "She or He," which is something that always sticks in my craw.
Still, it seems like I'm missing the point when I get caught up in that, and I feel happy when I feel like the Lord is taking my fingers-- fingers which get good and cramped while wrapped around an issue I think is critical-- and peeling them back. I don't want to miss the point that she's absolutely correct when she talks about the sweetness and goodness of the Lord. When she talks about forgiveness and grace-- because she's walked in it. Sure, we disagree politically, but I am certain that this woman and I will stand together before the Lord one day, worshipping Him forever.
So I asked the Lord, "Are you a man or a woman?" And I felt His response sort of like this: You can't define me in human terms. You are sprung from me, not the other way around. Male and female, I created them-- it's all found in Me. You are a reflection-- imperfect, marred, but a reflection-- of Me. Your parts are miniature reflections of Me. I am so much bigger than your small definitions and labels.
(it seems like it's kind of like saying to a mom or dad, "You look just like your son." Their response seems to always be the same: "No, he looks just like ME.")
And in that, He chose to reveal Himself to us as a Father. He describes Himself as a mother and identifies with motherly things, too, in the Old Testament, but primarily He is described as and referred to as a male entity and I have no problem with that. In fact, I honestly do prefer it-- I know that we all have our ideas, preferences, etc., but I do believe that the Word is completely Holy Spirit inspired and that He chose to identify Himself in a certain way-- that's good enough for me. It isn't a slight to women. It's simply our Maker knowing the best way to reveal Himself to us, to communicate with us and provide some framework for us to understand and refer to Him.
Sigh. I just can't wait to see Him one day. Not before my time, but at the perfect time. To stand in His presence and KNOW. Meanwhile, I'm determined to seek Him and see Him where He will be found. And tonight, He's showing me lovely things through that crazy Anne Lamott.
So anyway, I'm not burnt out. I was just tired.